At a loss for Words

I want to talk (about what happened)... about you, about me- the "us" I thought we had. But I'm not sure I'm ready. It's disappointing. A heavy heart. A mixture of feelings (good ones & bad) but mostly fear. A fear I once had, and, I'm afraid, one that's been confirmed. "It's too good to be true." That fear! So, I once met this guy who challenged my brain and heart. And though I was afraid to let him win, I slowly let my guards down and began a journey I did not think would end. (One I truly wished wouldn't.) But this guy, the one I once met, was "too good to be true." He slowly made his way into my heart (the one I slowly opened) to one day leave void and empty. Honestly, I'm not sure it can recover (or how quickly- if possible) ...or be filled again. No, not with the same hopes. So, where do I begin? Words fail me. Hope/Crushed "Too good to be true" came to be. Though, I still would like to refuse to believe it. But this is now my sad reality... Back to the drawing board. Empty and in disbelief! What now?? Sadly, you're the guy. Sadly, I'm the girl. Sadly, that's our reality. (for now...) At a loss for words. Sincerely, Me.

Today.

My last post here was 3 years ago, 2009. Unbelievable. Its been long over due. I've had so much going on that I've kinda lost touch with putting my thoughts on paper. I dont know quite how that happened. Thoughts on paper was and is my fav. thing. Just lost touch. But, here I am once again. I can honestly say i'm really glad to be back! So, today is Dec. 21, 2012. Supposedly the "last day" according to the Mayan calendar. To be honest, I dont know anything about them so this is in no way a "bashing" session. All I know is that I'm glad we are all here. Alive and well. (So far.) hehe What I do know is that the Bible, God breathed, says that we should live daily as if it were our last. Only He knows if tomorrow you will awake. We should live for Him and honor Him daily. Searching through verses, I stumbled uppon this. Deut.4 : 32-39 The Lord Is God "32 Ask now about the former days, long before your time, from the day God created human beings on the earth; ask from one end of the heavens to the other. Has anything so great as this ever happened, or has anything like it ever been heard of? 33 Has any other people heard the voice of God[a] speaking out of fire, as you have, and lived? 34 Has any god ever tried to take for himself one nation out of another nation, by testings, by signs and wonders, by war, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, or by great and awesome deeds, like all the things the Lord your God did for you in Egypt before your very eyes? 35 You were shown these things so that you might know that the Lord is God; besides him there is no other. 36 From heaven he made you hear his voice to discipline you. On earth he showed you his great fire, and you heard his words from out of the fire. 37 Because he loved your ancestors and chose their descendants after them, he brought you out of Egypt by his Presence and his great strength, 38 to drive out before you nations greater and stronger than you and to bring you into their land to give it to you for your inheritance, as it is today. 39 Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other. 40 Keep his decrees and commands, which I am giving you today, so that it may go well with you and your children after you and that you may live long in the land the Lord your God gives you for all time." Lord, I pray that I may always remember your Word; Your wonderful promises. And may I keep them and honor Your Name with my life with Your help. In Jesus name, Amen.

Monday... in my thoughts.

I wish we would all change our attitude concerning "Mondays." (including myself)
As I read status' changes, comments and blogs, it dawns on me... how ungrateful we are.
Sounds like this... "Ugh! Its Monday again!" "I hate Mondays." "Can't wait till this day is over." And the list goes on.

Why are we so bothered? We should be grateful that we are alive and well... on this very Monday. We fuss and we fight not realizing that millions of people didn't make it to see the rise of another day... a Monday morning.
The Bible says that God's compassion, His love, His mercies are new "every morning..." This, indeed, includes Mondays!

Have you stopped to think why Mondays can be a little more 'hectic' and busier than other days?
Perhaps you should. I have.
This day may be a day for new opportunities; a new chance in life for many. A beginning to many things.

I bet if we changed our attitude about this day, it'll trickle down, affecting the rest of the week... and perhaps the rest of our lives;
This, I believe, will result in long lasting change, as metamorphosis, not only in our attitudes but in our lives and even of those around us.
Don't you believe you can cause change? Indeed you can.

So... Sunday night, as our 'weekend' comes to an end, let's remember to live out 'each and every day' purposefully; welcoming Monday instead of having the usual dreary 'Monday' attitude.

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24


"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him."
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him,
to the one who seeks Him;
it is good to wait quietly fot the salvation of the Lord."
Lamentations 3:22-26

The Smile.

It's quite funny that I'm journaling about this one smile I saw today, but quite worth it.
(If this guy saw that I journaled about this he would totally think Im a stalker or something lol. But im not! Trust me- I don't have time or the energy for it.)


The smile is memorable, adorable, and quite a crusher.
I would not mind having to see such a lovely smile every single day of my life! At all!! As a matter of fact... I wish I could. (To be honest)

Yes, it was a guy. A cute guy. But thats not the point. The point is that this (totally cute guy) shared his smile.

How many smiles do you share daily?

Smiles can totally make somebody's day. I know this for a fact! It has for me.
I smile and I receive smiles. Fare share right? I think so.

So the next time you see a smile- give one in return.
And the next time you DONT see one- ask for one with yours.

Yours trully,
Ms. Smiles

Religion -vs- The Gospel

"As sinners, we are prone to pursue a relationship with God in one of two ways. The first is religion/spirituality and the second is the gospel. The two are antithetical (opposite) in every way.

Religion says that if we obey God, he will love us. The gospel says that it is because God has loved us through Jesus that we can obey. Religion says that the world is filled with good people and bad people. The gospel says that the world is filled with people who are either repentant or unrepentant. Religion says that you should trust in what you do as a good moral person. The gospel says that you should trust in the perfectly sinless life of Jesus because he alone is the only good and truly moral person who will ever live. The goal of religion is to get from God such things as health, wealth, insight, power, and control. The goal of the gospel is not the gifts God gives, but rather God as the gift given to us by grace. Religion is about what I have to do. The gospel is about what I get to do. Religion sees hardship in life as punishment from God. The gospel sees hardship in life as sanctifying affliction that reminds us of Jesus' suffering and is used by God in live to make us more like Jesus. Religion is about me. The gospel is about Jesus. Religion leads to an uncertainty about my standing before God because I never know if I have done enough to please God. The gospel leads to certainty about my standing before God because of the finished work of Jesus on my behalf on the cross. Religion ends in either pride (because I think I am better than other people) or despair (because I continually fall short of God's commands). The gospel ends in humble and confident joy because of the power of Jesus at work for me, in me, through me, and sometimes in spite of me."

…the central point of the New Testament is that we are more wicked than we ever feared, yet more loved than we ever dreamed."

"A book you'll actually read On the New Testament" by Mark Driscoll

Transparent / Something new.

Hello. Although you may read this and say, "Huh? This has nothing to do with being transparent- it's about Love." It's time for transparency… on my behalf anyway. And as the title goes, "Transparent / Something new," that's exactly what my goal is (from now on) so, here goes it. (Hope I don’t loose you as I try to explain what's in my heart as best as I can.) ::smile::

"Love"
I don't know where you are; as far as your relationship with God is concerned. You may or may not have a relationship with Christ, Abbah Father, or the Holy Spirit (who are One in All). I don't know whether you believe in Him wholeheartedly or whether you do not believe in Him… the fact remains that He is real, He is alive, and He loves you with perfect and unending love; Love that goes far beyond what you think of yourself (or Him). It goes beyond where you are and what stage or level you're at in life (in relation to your Creator)… His love is far deeper than you would ever imagine. His love for you has NO end. And please don't try convincing yourself other than this truth.
It is a fact. He loves you!

I try to make sense of it and although it is almost impossible, I have a tiny glimpse of this love I'm trying to describe. (Again… tiny.) God's love is faaaar greater…and I've been finding this out.
So here it is…

Have you ever loved anyone? It's not necessary to think of a specific relationship or person. Just "love." Have you loved? Think with me for a moment…
Did we see 'fault' or 'imperfections?' Of course we did (or do)! But do we stop loving?? And I mean real love. Pure love.
No. We do not stop 'loving.' We love regardless of fault.
So, if you can agree with me on this then, why is it so hard to accept God's love? Christian or not. Ever wonder why?
Yes?
Good!
Here's what God showed me...

No matter how imperfect I may be (and yes, we all fall short of the glory of God), His love is perfect and unending. The same way we can love someone with or without imperfections, He loves us just as we are. (Can I get an Aaaaaamen to that?! He he)

Let's remember, God does not see us as we see ourselves. He sees beyond our current "status." He loves us whether we love Him or not. We simply must let ourselves be loved! My question today for you is, "Would you give Him a chance to love you?" He longs to have a relationship with you; a real, true, and tangible relationship.

So to end, and this is where the transparency part comes in, I'd like to share something personal with you. I was raised in the gospel (in church) and due to this, one may think they got this whole "church & God" thing "down packed." Maybe because we've stumbled upon God's presence from time to time or maybe even searched and "found it." Perhaps you may think your love for God has anything to do with gett'n things "down packed." But I realize that "loving God" doesn't necessarily mean that I know Him or have a relationship with Him. It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm letting Him love me!

As I take a deep breath, realizing that I don’t have things "down packed," I ask God for forgiveness for the many times I've taken His love for granted, and for simply ignoring it. And I challenge myself to allow Him to love me… and allow myself to fall deeper in love with Him.

Anyone up for a challenge?? ::smile::

Thanks for listening /reading.

P.S. "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 (It's one of my favorite verses in the Bible.)

My Smile.

I'm a Daddy's Girl!
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Tears do not always = melancholy.
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Smile.

Leap of Faith anyone??

Woooow!! This Word couldn't come at a better time. If you read yesterday's blog you'll know exactly what i'm talking about! (Just keep reading... you'll see.)

So, I was reading and deleting old files from my emails and I stopped to read this specific one. This is mail was forwarded from my best friend and dated waaaay back in August of 2006! It was exactly 2 years ago! The Word through this email impacted me when I read it and the Word still applies to me today! I know... amazing huh? Yup thats the God I love... that's the God I serve. Anyway, heres the email....
I pray it impacts you as it has impacted me.

Take a leap of faith!

Today's Scripture
"Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone that comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)

Today's Word
God is always giving us opportunities to grow and move forward in this life.
But in order to experience God's best, you must be bold and willingly step out in faith to do what God says to do!

Do you have a "play-it-safe" mentality? Are you avoiding risks because you're afraid you might fail? Or, do you think that what you dreaming about might be too difficult? The Bible says that faith pleases God. It brings pleasure to the heart of God when He knows that you trust Him enough to step out and obey Him. You may not always know what will happen, and you may not always feel qualified. But the Bible says in Joshua 1:8: "Don't be afraid. Be strong, be bold, be very courageous for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." God promises He will always be with you – and with God on
your side, you are more than a conqueror!

The next time you know God is bringing an opportunity across your path, step out of your comfort zone! Step out in faith, knowing that God has His best in store for you. He desires to bring you success. Be willing to take some risks – knowing that Almighty God is right there by your side!

A Prayer for Today
God, I have nothing to fear with You by my side. There are risks I should
take and doors I need to open and I will trust in You as I meet these
challenges. Today, I will be bold in my faith! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Oh boy

Oh boy…
It’s been a while since I’ve logged-in to write anything…
I’m afraid to begin!
Would I or could I even STOP once I begin?!!
I suppose I should just start and see the outcome.

Here goes nothing…

Hello everyone! If there is anyone even out there reading...

::deep breath:: Where do I begin?

Months have passed and MY world just seems to be going up-side down / flip-side up! No, it’s not all negative. Actually, I shouldn’t even use “all” and “negative” in the same sentence. As a believer I know that in ‘ALL’ things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. It says it in His good word in Romans 8:28 therefore, I believe it! We go through things in life… some good some bad… but if we have faith and if we trust that God’s got our back, then ‘all’ will be aaallright!
So…

I have made some life changing decisions within these months. One’s that indeed have affected and will affect my immediate and future family… and yes, even those that surround me I believe. It’s just the way life is! Our decisions affect people around us positively or negatively. I try to choose the positive things… hope you didn’t miss that… I TRY. God help me! God help us ALL! Haha Indeed we try… and He knows it very well.

I applied and was accepted to a school… or preparation camp I should say, I purchased a new car (the car I’ve always wanted since I 1st laid eyes on it!) , and I will be traveling there in just a week or so. (he he God has such a sense of humor.)
Booooooooy has it already been a journey! I try but can’t imagine ALL the changes I’ll be going through.
Let’s see…
How I do I explain what I feel inside?
Better yet… I’ll try to paint a picture for ya.

Ok…
You’re on top of a veeeery taaaaall hill. You’re at the border.
You even have a parachute.
Are ya there?
Ok...
Now… look over the tips of your feet. Ready to take a plunge????
Did your stomach turn?
…THAT’s exactly how I feel!!!

It’s the thrill of adventure and adrenaline-rush going through your body...
It's exactly how I feel…

And as I began this blog “Oh boy!” It seems to fit perfectly.
Beginning and End.
Lord help me!

It's Treasure

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love Him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9



There it was… treasure, sitting right on my desk. It was in one of those “Scripture Verses for Every Day of the Year” flippy things. Ya know the desk calendars? Definitely no longer a silly ole’ calendar… it’s a treasure chest! This treasure I can acquire is beautiful, priceless, and available to me daily!
How amazing!!


This verse spoke volumes to my life. It’s talking about treasure “beyond all imagining.” I am immediately reminded of Isaiah 55: 8-9 where the Lord declared, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher then your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
We cannot possibly understand heavenly things… unless the Lord himself reveals it to us. And here, in this daily verse, the Lord declares that no eye has seen or heard. We hear so many wonderful testimonies and there are many wonderful stories in the bible that declare God’s greatness… and even still, no eye has seen or heard. God is just that GREAT and our minds so finite that we have not touched even the surface. Our minds cannot conceive what God has prepared for us… for those who love Him. Do you love Him?? Then this includes you!!

Now bear with me for a second or two and imagine the most beautiful scenery in the world. Maybe you’ve even encountered this place already. Visualize the most precious jewels you’ve held or seen on display. Listen to that song that just captured every fiber of your body and soul. Join me and replay the most memorable moment of your life where all you could do that specific moment was gasp and enjoy every second of it. All I can say is… God is Greater!

Now, envision the panorama of a great desert. All those mentioned earlier were simple grains of sand in the palm of your hand. They were but mere specks of God’s goodness and glory. They cannot compare to His fullness. They cannot compared to all that He has (already) prepared for those who love Him.

I am in awe of such a God.

My God. My Daddy!